"Most copycat behaviour is totally harmless, but occasionally it can develop into something sinister," says Domonique Bertolucci. "It's really important to trust your instincts - if you feel your friend's behaviour is becoming obsessive tell someone!" Are they taking over your life? Have they become so dependent on you, you're feeling claustrophobic? Do they constantly place tabs on you? Do they pretend to be your PA, making all your plans? While their heart might be in the right place, their practise of not allowing you space to be 'you' could result in a major falling out.
"Don't be afraid to let her know that her lack of originality is frustrating you," advises Domonique. "Although she might be doing it on purpose, many people don't even realise that they have become a copycat. Don't be afraid to talk to your parents or speak to your school counsellor." If talking isn't your thing, try putting the brakes on your friendship. And if it's a sitch where she's someone you kinda know, then getting someone else's advice is a good idea. "Try looking out for things that she does differently to you and make sure you compliment her on those - that way she knows that you like her for her, not for who she is trying to be," adds Domonique. Most importantly: don't change you!
Oops I copied again
If you feel like you're changing too much to fit in with new friends, feel like you have a put-on personality or are constantly appearing false, take a rain check on yourself. "If your family and old friends start saying things like, 'You've changed,' 'I don't know what has gotten into you lately' and 'You're just not yourself anymore,' listen to them!" warns Domonique. It pays to develop your own taste otherwise you could ruin your friendships for good.
Ella Beck,
Girlfriend, August 2004
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