Domonique Bertolucci is the best-selling author of Your Best Life: the ultimate guide to creating the life you want and the closely guarded secret
 behind some of the country’s most successful people.

As a 'successpert', Domonique has built a reputation as the go-to-girl for quotes, comments and expert insights on a wide range of personal development topics. She has given over 100 interviews across all forms of media including television, radio, print and digital media; more than 10 million people have seen, read or heard her advice.

Domonique divides her time between Sydney and London. She lives with her husband and young daughter, and in her spare time can be found at the cinema, practicing yoga and keeping up the great Italian tradition of feeding the people you love.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Faking it?

"I'll never be good enough for him"

Domonique Bertolucci, personal coach. http://www.domoniquebertolucci.com/


  • The issue: Even though everything is peachy keen in your relationship, you can't but worry it's all about to come spectularly crashing down

  • The effect: Faking It Phenomenon (FIP) forces people to look for extra reassurance and compliments from their partner. This constant need for validation can be a massive drain on the other person, and when our guy doesn't have the energy to keep pepping us up, we assume we're on the road to Dumpsville.

  • The solution: If you're forever telling yourself you're going to fails, it becomes a self'fulfilling prophecy. Imagine your negative thoughts are a scratched CD that keeps playing the same line over and over. You've got to get your mind to work for you, not against you. So every time you start to doubt yourself, repeat positive thoughts in your head. Your confidence needs to come from within, not from other people.

  • Top tip: Perception has an incredible effect on confidence, so give over-dramatising situations the flick. Be realistic - is the problem really going to matter tomorrow? In a week? Next month? Also, try to avoid dragging past issues into your present and just deal with what's going on in oyur life today. Often, the problem we're stressing about never ever happens.

Gemma Crisp,
Cleo, May 2006


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